I Was Born?

Adopted kids bring with them a whole set of questions unique to their own circumstances. Of course, one of the biggies centers around the "real" mom. You absolutely know these queries will come up, but no matter how prepared you think you are, there is still pain involved - pain for the child and pain for yourself. These are MY kiddos, and I would love to have carried them and given birth to each one of them. It is no trite thing to say they were truly born in my heart, but with that said, I do understand all their `whys.' Ruthie and Abby have not asked anything, but Joanna, who turns 10 on the 30th, has a million questions. She wonders if her real mom (Yes, I have told her that I am her real mom and that that lady was her birth mom, but kids are not PC, so we stick to the real mom terminology.) has skin the color of hers. She wonders why she was given away. She wonders if her mom loved her and if she knows Jesus. I have tried to answer her with the answers that any of you would say to comfort a child, but sometimes they seem shallow. I have told her that she should pray for her birth mother because Jesus knew the desires of her (Joanna's) heart and made a way for her to hear about Jesus, and He can do this with her mom as well. So far, this has pacified her, but there will be more questions and more heartaches. Sigh.

Ruthie was listening attentively to all of this, and I wondered what she was thinking. I have never brought up the subject of a birth mother because she tends to do better when she thinks things out and then brings up the subject in her own time. Finally, she asked me with incredulation if she too had been in someone's tummy. I said, "Of course you were, Ruthie. Everyone has to be in a mommy's tummy before they are born." I told her that everything is either born or hatched! She was unbelievably relieved. When all of her little friends have talked about being born, she has remainded quiet because she thought she had been `adopted' instead of 'born.' I was first amused, and then I was just sad. It makes me wonder how many other things my kids don't understand and think they missed out on.

I am so thankful they are mine, but it makes me realize that they only came to me because we live in a sinful, fallen world. How comforting to know that there are no orphans in heaven.