Happy Birthday, Ruthie! (& Bob)!

Ruthie turned 7 yesterday. She has been part of our family for over four years now, and yet it seems like just yesterday that we were meeting this little girl for the first time. It has sent me into a reminiscent mood. ~

Danny had died in January 2003, and we were struggling greatly. I can't begin to explain all the things that happen spiritually, emotionally, and physically when you lose someone close. Bob & I took a series of classes offered through a local church called "Griefshare." (As a sidenote, I cannot recommend this course highly enough if you are suffering through the death of a loved one.) Anyway, we both came away with the realization that there are hurting people all around us that we had not been aware of until this point. That set the stage for a meeting with a sweet adoptive mom named Nancy.

In late April, I was returning some transcription work to the surgery center I work for, and there happened to be one lady sitting in the waiting room. I don't remember how we began to talk, but during the conversation, I learned that she had 5 children by birth and 2 through adoption. The little boy in the surgery room was from Korea and had been born so severely handicapped that no one expected him to survive. He was born with one eye, half a nose, and one ear. In addition, many of his internal organs were not functioning as they should. The ophthalmologist doing his surgery was beginning the cosmetic construction work on an eye socket. I began to cry when she told me his story. I was so amazed at how much she loved this little guy. She told me about the agency that they had used for the adoption and the waiting child listing available on the internet.

We were not linked to the internet at that time, and I went to the library to try to figure out how to search for this listing. (This is where I show my lack of computer skills. Although I flounder now from time to time, I knew NOTHING then!) There was an hour limit per library customer, and it probably took me close to 35 minutes just to find the website, let alone hunt for the waiting child list. There were six children listed, and I found the cutest baby with webbed fingers on one hand, and THEN - I saw "Yue Hua's" face. Something turned over in my heart, and I truly felt that red thread connection. This was probably the closest thing to `love at first sight' from a simple photograph that I have ever experienced. I printed out her picture and went home. I returned to the library day after day expecting to see the words "I have found my forever family" posted by her name. This did not happen, and I mentioned her to Bob. We began to pray that she would find a home. Danny had only been gone 4-1/2 months, and I knew we were not emotionally in a position to move forward with an adoption. The summer passed, and I called the agency to check on her. No one had even requested her file for a review.

In late August, Bob, Nathan, and I went to the Outer Banks in North Carolina to vacation with Sam, who was stationed at Fort Bragg. The weather was rainy and dreary, and instead of spending time on the beach in the sun, Bob & I toured the lighthouses and did a lot of talking. Yue Hua had been on both of our minds, and four months after initially seeing her, we made the decision to adopt her. Her diagnosis was scary, and even though the words `spina bifida' did not appear on her physical page, doctors in the US suspected this to be her special need.

Lots of things happened from that point, including an unexpected pregnancy and the loss of our beautiful 4th son, Ben, but in July 2004, we became the parents of this wonderful little girl we named Ruthie. People have often stated what a lucky little girl Ruthie is. First off, I do not believe in "luck," but I would turn that statement around and say that WE are the ones who have been blessed to have Ruthie. Happy Birthday, Ruthie! We love you!!

*** Not to forget Bob - Happy Birthday to him today! He is a few years older than 7 and not quite as excited by his special day, however. I have known Bob since he was 17 and I was 16, and I am so thankful he is my husband and the father of my children.